Quickly! Come in before you’re seen — and let’s get down to business. For the time being, you’ve got the pleasure of speaking with one Mr. Michael Celani, but that’s just today’s name. In truth, I’m the notorious Pseudonymphomaniac, the world’s one and only phantom identity thief, and welcome to my pawn shop. I’ve stolen enough identities to make Roger Smith blush.
On the lam? Well, if you want to avoid the wrath of the legislature, you’ve got to change your nomenclature, and I’ve got just the thing for you. Personally, I think you’d look dapper as a twenty-three year old white woman named Stacey de Stacey. Looking for something a little bit more chic? Why not assume the role of forty-seven year old London socialite, Barrister Von Pants? And if you’d like to add a little bad boy to your style, here’s our catalog of identities that smoke weed.
I see you’re perusing my wares, so let me sweeten the deal. Buy today, and we’ll throw in a bonus magical spell, absolutely free! Just talk to Yenna, Redtooth Regent. She can make a copy of any enchantment you control, given that it doesn’t have the same name as another permanent you control. Simply copy the enchantment you’re interested in, use our services to change its name, and copy it again!
What’s in a Name?
But how does it work? How can we change someone’s name in and out so easily? It’s simple: stickers. Bear with me, I swear my business plan wasn’t written by an eight year old—
Yes, you’ve heard of stickers that add abilities to permanents, but that’s not the only variety out there. There’s also name stickers! When you affix a name sticker to a permanent, it modifies that permanent’s name by inserting the stickered word into it. Name stickers render their card’s name unique from other copies of it. In other words, once you’ve put a sticker on an enchantment, Yenna’s got the go-ahead to create another duplicate of that enchantment.
That alone would be fine, but here’s the sticker kicker: stickers are defined as text-changing effects, which means they’re not copiable. Were you to turn a Dryad of the Ilysian Grove into a Sticky Dryad of the Ilysian Grove, then first of all, I can’t blame you; he’s really handsome. Second of all, any duplicates you’d make of said Sticky Dryad of the Ilysian Grove would come out as squeaky-clean, regular Dryads of the Ilysian Grove.
Since no copies of your name-stickered permanent will ever have the same name as the original, Yenna is legally allowed to Xerox that enchantment as many times as you want. She also untaps herself and scries for no reason if you ever target an Aura with her ability, so you can guess where this is going. Put a name sticker on an Aura, then slam that copy button for as long as you’ve got mana!
Stick ‘er Up
Let’s get more in depth. You might be wondering which sticker sheets are best in Commander. I’ll leave that one for the clickbait writers, because the actual sticker sheets you choose for this deck are more-or-less irrelevant. You’re only interested in name stickers, which are all identical from a gameplay perspective, so go ahead and pick whichever ones represent your personality the best (I’m an Ancestral Hot Dog Minotaur myself). Keep in mind that you’ll technically need at least ten unique sticker sheets to present a valid constructed deck, but I guarantee you that nobody in the world gives a shit, so feel free to say you just put an arbitrary name sticker on your cards when you actually play.
The more pressing matter on the agenda concerns the stickerers — the cards that actually let you put stickers on things. Which ones work? Well, for that, your choices are so limited that you might as well just include all of them. Chicken Troupe, Ticketomaton, Aerialephant, Clandestine Chameleon, Stiltstrider, Tusk and Whiskers, Sword-Swallowing Seraph, and secret Volrath, the Shapestealer all-star Finishing Move each make an appearance in this deck.
Since there’s not all that many options to choose from, you’ll need a way to reuse these creatures’ triggered abilities to make meaningful progress; otherwise, you’d only be able to make infinite copies of only one or two enchantments, and that’s just no fun. Although awkward, given the deck’s focus on Auras, blink spells get the job done and can double as creature protection in a pinch. I like Ephemerate and Parting Gust for this purpose. Secret Arcade is also a cheeky way to reuse these abilities, since it gives Yenna the power to copy the relevant creatures.
Trigger Finger
We’ve talked stickers, so now it’s time for the state-mandated enchantress dump.
Don’t worry, it won’t be the greatest hits on repeat yet again. Since most enchantments that enter the battlefield under your control will have been copied instead of cast, enchantress triggers like Mesa Enchantress are less effective than usual. Of course, it’s worth including a few, especially Enchantress’s Presence and Sythis (as Yenna can copy them), but don’t up and fill your deck to the brim with ‘em.
Constellation fares much better here. Setessan Champion and Eidolon of Blossoms draw you cards when enchantments enter instead of when they’re cast, and Tanglespan Lookout does the same for Auras. Composer of Spring turns every Aura you copy into a free land drop, while Calix, Guided by Fate powers up your creatures over time.
Still, that’s a rather small spattering of triggered abilities for an Auras deck. Instead, your main payoff will be cards that wring additional value out of your permanents. You’re gonna make a lot of copies in this deck, so Destiny Spinner’s oft-ignored land animation ability graduates to the rank of actual threat. Sanctum Weaver will generate absurd amounts of mana, Sphere of Safety will generate absurd amounts of protection, and Rashel, Fist of Torm will generate absurd amounts of power and toughness for your one suited-up attacker.
As bona fide copies, each additional token you create retains its mana cost, so speaking of attackers, that makes Nyxborn Behemoth practically free to cast. Copying mana costs also makes your devotion to white and green skyrocket. Tap Karametra’s Acolyte to generate even more green mana, dome your opponents over the head with Renata’s ridiculous power, and, if you can swing it, include a copy of Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx to kick your deck into overdrive.
Aura Farming
Enough dawdling, it’s time to check out the Auras you’ll actually copy over the course of the game. If you weren’t sold yet, this’ll make my special offer on identities one you can’t refuse!
Ramp
There’s no sense investing in land-based ramp like Rampant Growth this time around; instead, you’ll want to include cards like Wild Growth to get the job done. Don’t bother using a name sticker on these Auras unless they make at least two mana, though; you’re much better off copying cards that meaningfully affect the board state. Wellspring is notable for how goddamn weird it is; you can steal an enemy’s Urborg-backed Cabal Coffers from right out under them.
Removal
There are maybe more Auras which exile permanents when they enter the battlefield than you’d think, and better yet, they come with some really meaningful bonus effects these days. Your main goal throughout the game will be to control the board with copies of these enchantments until you can draw a win condition. If you’re worried about getting blown out by kill spells, then consider investing more into the classical Aura-based removal which simply hamstrings whatever it enchants.
Buffs
There’s some small Aura-based buffs here, too, of course. Almost all of them grant some sort of evasion so that your Voltron creature can actually get through. Armadillo Cloak is particularly well-suited to this deck’s strategy, since, unlike Unflinching Courage, its lifegain trigger actually stacks with additional copies.
Win Conditions
Big damn enchantments, what else can I say? Strength of the Harvest, Sage’s Reverie, Super State, and Eldrazi Conscription could close out games on their own, but fielding multiple copies is simply going too far. Hilariously, duplicates of Super State (which won’t be legendary, thanks to Yenna’s ability) make your swing deal more damage to everyone you’re not attacking, so keep that in mind.
The Weird Stuff
And here’s where I put all the weird cards that cause people to lower their glasses and go “huh?” when they see ‘em.
- If you’re sick of reanimator and aristocrats players, enchant them with a Wheel of Sun and Moon, which makes it impossible for them to use their graveyard in any meaningful way.
- Bank Yenna untaps for later by sinking your resources into copying Nature’s Chosen; it can even go infinite if paired with a permanent that generates enough mana.
- Tempting Licid, of course, ruins combat for your opponents, as you can not only distract enemy blockers from interacting with your Voltron creature, you can also use it to force blockers in skirmishes you’re not even a part of.
- Multiple copies of Pariah will make it difficult for enemies to hit you; they’ll have to go through every enchanted creature before you’re vulnerable again.
- And finally, multiple copies of Captured by the Consulate will make it difficult for them to target your creatures with any sort of removal.
Identity Function
So, are you ready to make the sale? Embrace any identity you want, for whatever purpose — wait, you’re not interested in committing several felonies at once? Well, if you’d like to change that, I’ve stolen plenty of criminals’ identities, and that’s aisle seven…
The full decklist for this article, Get Ready for a Name Changer, can be found here.
If you enjoyed this installment of How They Brew It, check out my Discord, where you can chat with other like-minded folks, get help on your own brews, or commission me to build decks! Let me know there what you think, and I hope to see you around next time!